At The Kitchen Table: An Introduction

This blog is a mish mosh look into my family's journey through life in general: our walks with God (mostly mine for now), growing our son and future children up to be obedient servants of the Lord, being a new mother, health and wellness, nourishment of our minds, bodies, and hearts through good food and our Savior-- You know, things that occur at the kitchen table.

Friends come together here, families break bread here. Prayer happens, joy happens, struggle and pain. Good meals, burnt meals, homework, bills, laughter, sorrow...the kitchen table is a place to come together, to share, and learn from one another. It is also a place to be alone with God. The kitchen table is a symbol representing how the Lord is always there for us, regardless of the 'stuff' that goes on in life. Regardless of the stack of bills tossed on it, the burnt chicken eaten on it, the deep scratch down the center of it because your father in law forgot to use a placemat...there it stands; Ready and waiting for you to use.

The last three years have been rough for my husband Jeff and I. In 2011, we suffered the loss of our first son, Hayden James to stillbirth, followed by two early miscarriages. We have experienced truck loads of unforeseen bills coming all at once, had our car repossessed, borrowed money from my mother and Jeff's father that we know we can't pay back, even though we want to, and eating literally EVERYTHING in the pantry and refrigerator because we couldn't afford to grocery shop. Our marriage has been tested by temptation on several occasions, been surrounded by sinful over indulgences such as alcohol and even 'less sinful' indulgences such as Facebook and video games. In the short three years Jeff and I have been married, there has been a lot and I mean a LOT of 'stuff' happening at our kitchen table. Yet here we stand, strong as a brick house. This can only be by the workings of God himself because let me tell you, Jeff and I couldn't have done it alone.

The amazing thing of it all is though I knew during all the 'junk' we were going through that I wasn't right with God, my faith never waivered. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew it hurt God that I hadn't chatted with Him in a while. That I hadn't handed over my junk to Him and laid it all at His feet. But I was a big girl with thick skin and could handle it myself, right? Oh, dear, I couldn't have been more wrong.

I have to be completely honest that even after growing up surrounded by the Lord, in church, and having those roots and foundations, it took my stubborn self three years to give up my junk! The birth of our son, Hudson Eugene, on May 6th, 2013 changed everything. It wasn't about me anymore; he was my responsibility and it was my job as his mother as stated by God himself to teach him the ways of the Lord. Man. For the first time in a long time, I had to admit that I could not do this alone. I had to give it all to God, ALL of it this time, so that I could finally be the wife, mother, sister, friend, and daughter God wanted of me.

As I sat down last week printing out the worksheets for the bible study a few friends and I are doing called, "Women Living Well" by Courtney Joseph, God told me to start a blog. My response, to a T was: "Really, Lord? I have like 4 other blogs I can't even keep up with, and you want me to start another one? As if school, Hudson, homemaking, etc, aren't enough already!"

Seriously? Did I just QUESTION my Lord? My Savior, who sacrificed His Son?? I asked HIM if HE was SURE?! Who does that?!? LOL! Who on earth do I think I am?

So, I said yes. I prayed about it all week. I didn't know what to call it. I didn't know what to write about. First I thought He wanted me to write about recipes and food. Then I thought He wanted me to write about being a first time mother. I had no idea what to call this thing or where to begin. As I was cleaning up after dinner last night, it was really pulling on my heart to clear off the kitchen table, but I really wanted to play Hay Day on my iPad! I had orders to fill!! LOL...But instead of sitting there, I got up and begin clearing off the table. As I put away the place mats, wiped the crumbs off the table, stacked the bills up and put them away, I ran my fingers along the grooves dug into the soft wood. I thought about everything Jeff and I had been through together at this table. I thought about how my relationship with God had grown at this table. I thought about the good meals, discussions, board games, crafts, and memories made at this table. God then gave me the confirmation that I was to write a blog about my journey. The everyday things that go on at my 'table', whether its a struggle with something spiritual or a literal meal being served at my table, I'm just going to blog about it!

So! Isn't that exciting!? I pray that someone who needed to read this or needs to read my future posts finds it soon and that it helps them in the way God intended. This post was so all over the place, but I know it was supposed to be written, and hey, I warned you it was a mish mosh of stuff ;) Looking forward to writing again soon!

In obedience to the Lord,
~*Kaila*~