There are so many things I want to cover in this one post and my thoughts are literally all over the place, so forgive me if this post reflects that. Bare with me, what I have to tell you is important (well, it is to me anyway!) I am going to start with as close to the beginning of the month as I can remember.
This month, Hudson turned 16 months old. This age for us is what I would like to call the "fire-cracker" stage. Hudson was always the most chill, relaxed, and easy going baby. I constantly heard from family, friends, and other strangers what a "good baby" he was, and not to brag, but he was! He still is! Of course I love my precious angel more than anything else in this world, and 99.9% of the time he really is the most wonderful baby, but man. This toddler/independence thing has really come on strong, and practically over night. While it is difficult at times, I am so incredibly thankful. I am thankful that my patience is put to the test, because it is not something I have a lot of, especially when Hudson does his high pitched scream (anyone who has been around us the in the last month knows EXACTLY what I am referring to). Absolutely ear piercing! But I am so thankful that he has a strong personality and can articulate his desires. Sure, the way in which he behaves to get his point across is a little dramatic (okay, a lot), but how many times when we are upset do we not feel like doing the exact same thing and just rolling on the floor kicking and screaming? Maybe it's just me, but I really wish sometimes I could just vent as a toddler does ;) He's an absolute fire cracker and I love it. Every minute.
This month, I implemented a new cleaning schedule which I can actually keep up with and Jeff is happy with how the house has been kept up. I feel accomplished and don't feel bummed out a lot of the time when I couldn't meet the standards of other schedules I used. Through my prayer and bible study time this month, God has revealed to me that being a "Proverbs 31 wife" is going to look different for everyone. While the pressure is very strong to stay home with one's children, be the perfect housekeeper, and do absolutely everything exactly by the schedule, I was constantly feeling like a failure and like I wasn't meeting God's standards or requirements as a wife and mother. I know that I am not a great housekeeper and I am surely not a perfect stay at home mother. It was so wonderful when God revealed to me that it is okay that I don't look exactly like this as a wife and mother. That who He has called me to be and who He has called others to be as a wife and mother is going to look very different and that He is pleased with me, for who I am. This has been so important to me. To know that God is pleased with me. He is pleased with YOU as well. Maybe no one ever told you that. Maybe you aren't thanked enough or appreciated, or maybe you feel like a failure when you read the blogs of all these "perfect" housewives. Please know that Your Savior, the most high King, is PLEASED with you. You are enough.
Last night, Nana and I put on the IF:Pray (find more information at www.ifgathering.org) event in which women all over the nation and even in some other countries were praying over our relationship with God, our communities, the world, and over each other. Four of us came together last night, ate a meal, and let me tell you, the presence of God was so incredibly strong as soon as we sat at the table. The Lord just annointed us with his spirit and we spent a good solid hour just in prayer. Earlier that morning, I had gone on a walk just Hudson and I so I could prepare and pray over the evening. When we got home, Hudson went down for a nap, and I immediately had to put pen to paper. I just wrote and wrote and wrote. When I was finished, I had a prayer covering needs for people and things I had no idea about, but they were going to be prayed over. Such a special and sacred time. I will never forget it as long as I live. I feel so blessed to have strong mentors and women of God in my life. For all of us, the key word of the evening was "movement". Movement in our walks, movement in our ministry, movement in our hearts. It is so important not to settle in and get too comfortable. When this occurs, lonliness, sadness, jealously, and discontentment occur within us. If you are feeling 'stuck' in your walk with God, or just wondering 'what next?' I am praying movement for you. That you would have courage to move. Gravitate toward Him, He's waiting for the desperation of your heart and for you to give up whatever it is preventing you from stepping forward and moving.
This month has been filled with MOMS Club activities, family get togethers, and Jeff and I even had a really nice date night. I am so thankful for this full life we currently have, such a blessing to have an opportunity for so much fellowship and fun. We went to a Grizzlies game this month, had a couple play dates, Me n Eds Field Trip, drove to Sacramento for my graduation, had my party in Kingsburg, and today went to the zoo. I have been doing a lot of sewing and getting quite a few custom orders which has been fun as always. In October I have my first weekend away from Hudson for the SouthPoint Women's retreat at Old Oak Ranch. I am so looking forward to spending the quiet and intimate moments with the Lord. I know Jeff is a little nervous about keeping the little guy alone for two nights, but he is such a great father, I know they will both be just fine.
This is the ring Jeff got me for graduation. It has both of our son's names and birthstones on it. Such a treasure.
Blessings,
Kaila
